The savior syndrome is a certain type of behavior (NOT a disease!), which is characterized by the desire to help others, including to the detriment of one's own interests and desires.

How can lifeguard syndrome manifest itself?

• Willingness to give advice (even without asking)
• Solving other people's problems, including when personal resources are lacking or when help was not asked for
• A feeling of resentment (and perhaps anger) when help was refused or gratitude was not shown. Then "the rescuer can change the behavior of the "aggressor" according to Karpman's triangle). ‍

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Where do legs grow from?

Behavior strategy is formed from childhood.

Rescuer syndrome can be:

• A way to draw attention to yourself or earn recognition;
• Compensation for childhood neglect;
• Habit, because since childhood it was necessary to save someone from adults;
• Manifest narcissism or arrogance, if the motive of saving is the position "I know better/ others are weaker than me";
• Manifestation of low self-esteem: "others are more important than me, and I must serve them"

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What can be dangerous lifeguard syndrome?

Own life . If all attention is focused on solving other people's problems, then one's own life suffers. This can lead to burnout, career, relationship and even health problems.

Unjustified expectations . If the savior expects gratitude, but does not receive it, there is frustration – disappointment. The rescuer gets angry, burned out and may even get depressed.

‍ Role fit. The relationship between the rescuer and the rescued can deteriorate because the interaction does not proceed from equal positions, but takes place in a moment of superiority of the former and limitation of the receiving side.

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What to do with lifeguard syndrome?

Every time you try to save, ask yourself 2 questions:

"Did you ask me to help now?"

"Do I have the resources to help (time/money/energy)?"

If you find that rescuing others is impairing your quality of life, seek therapy. Together with a specialist, you can better understand your motivation, limits, resources and needs.

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How to help, support a person, not "earn" the savior syndrome?

Take care of your resource, daily routine, boundaries and rest.

Always remember that you are just as important as those you help!

⚠️ Mentors of the Volnyja initiative have the opportunity to join regular group therapy and apply for personal therapy for free.

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And if it is still possible and necessary to help?

You can help if you have the desire+resource+awareness of your motivation

When helping, share what is too much, but leave others their own right :

• to accept or not to accept help
• fall short of expectations
• to give thanks in a form appropriate for the person, or not to give thanks at all.

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Each of the mentors of the Volnyja initiative is interviewed by a psychologist.

This helps us track the status of the person who wants to help. In this way, we take care of mentor_ak and Volnyh and strive to build healthy communication.

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You can become a mentor by filling out the questionnaire .

While helping others, don't forget about yourself 💙

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